marks the spot,
marks the spot,
marks the spot,
marks the spot,
marks the spot,
marks the spot,
marks the spot,
was so busy playing and fooling around with that mayflower-STAR that pre-match preparations werent done. played my worst ever. seriously, what was i doing? still cant figure out, sighs. defence was crap cant even catch a ball properly. no i dont want to be a fool on court. such a disgrace to father.
" why didnt you do what i want you to do? "
though was looking on the ground all the time, he had that that sort of disappointment in his voice and didnt say anything much bout the match, which i was thankful of. and yes, dont comfort me with those lies. it makes me feel even more horrible.
maybe i should consider taking up yoga and put my flexibility into good use. ha attain immortality! okay, what rubbish. mother was trying to wake me up and i was trying to say that i tend to wake up every hour. she deduced i was giving myself too much pressure told me to relax more, covered me with the quilt and put me back to sleep. yay. well, i should quarantine myself this 3days till the semis to try and get my morale back and maybe, finally figuring out how to do that darn log. though i missed school and training, i can go watch west zone semis later! it is a thought worth considering, hmm.
mother also thinks i should get a math tutor. i should rid basketball and spend more time having tutions for all subjects so as to not being a burden to teachers in school. miss leow can vomit blood teaching me math almost everyday.
andand, milk causes tummy upset.
sigh, if i think i can, i cant?
;12:57 PM
one sigh of disappointment,
one sigh of frustration,
one sigh of sadness..
and i dont know what else.
walao i wanna rip every paper that contain even a weeny bit of math up okay, seriously. maybe after i achieved eliminating math, when i die, the country will have their flag lowered to half like that 90-year-old important figure who just died. it is funny to see how students walk pass miss leow and go " hi miss leow! i failed my math! " , still beaming. haha and miss leow would roll her eyes like always. seriously after me or us, this group of failures, no-no - underachievers, would have lots of people following our footsteps though reluctant to admit they're mostly umm girls but yeah proud that maybe alot of fellow females will support me and we will work towards the goal of eliminating math from sing - a - pore. hooorays.
and.. soon enough hordes of people will be strolling out of singapore indoor stadium having the most memorable time of their lives. i could have been there, grrrrrs
get over that pathetic phobia la if you dont eat those cartilage whatever tablets blah, say goodbye to basketball. hello you're part of a titan ! i can do it. no i cant :(
;10:05 PM
he's leaving slowly.
we pull each neon star from his wall,
and i cant help but feel like i am participating
in his vanishing. haing lost so much already
in the sweep of self, im not realy to let him go.
but i dont tell him that or anything, not yet.
i let him leave, feeling my brother
doesnt know me, and never will.
;11:28 PM
we just got lucky. no one really performed and we didnt gve heiba what he expected.well, won by 5 mere points. we seriously gotta thank god. such a relief, win tomorrow's match against ahmad ibrahim and we will get into the semis. how fast huh. bless us to be cool headed in the game, amen
got to support back with the corset again. why must it act up in the first game?! sigh, played like effing lousy. come on, dont affect me. head hit the ground and got elbowed too. now there's a big bruise on my forehead. what a vday. maybe i will feel better receiving all those valentine's gifts tomorrow, muahah.
miss yet another math lesson. dont know why i am just concentrating on math now. chemistry/biology/geography/english/history/social studies, i still owe those teachers homework and i am just concerned that i need to hand in math. soon, i will suffer from phobia of going to school and i shall return to imh.
cant take my eyes off you
;1:50 PM
buried underneath.
tear me up and throw me away. i dont wish to return to school :(
i could cry a river
why do tests and tournaments always clash. cause i find there's absolutely no time to get enough preparation done. i want to drop out after basketball season then, when next year's season starts, i join back the team. after that drop out again. haha thats bull. homework piling upupup.
mother just returned from her overseas trip. last minute of packing up manage to get away with her chiding. maybe, seeing the acceptable state the house is in while she's gone, she might go for a longer period next year! with me with me! i hope. ooooo excessive heavy luggages with loads of urms stuffs. dried starfishes and seahorses?! gawd, i am so envious of that lady. she got to see the sunrise and sunset both in a day. like there are two beaches on that island. be on this beach to catch the sunrise, and on the other to catch the sunset. aint that interesting grrrrs well, she brought back yet another huge stack of dvds ! i am seriously considering to skip school and be a couch potato ohyes.
i am so excited about monday's match. please please dont let anything go wrong.
;11:34 PM
can say good-bye to revision and welcome injuries back. well, hope my body overpowers the bacteria and recover in time for zonals. come on antibodies ! gotta fight so i can fight on court.
laze laze around. 2days and i still havent got my homework done.
;8:12 PM
laid on the futon in the living room, the world
tightening around my throat, like one loop
of a shoelace encircling the other, until i was
off the futon, my back against the hardwood floor,
closer to the speaker, as easily parallel to heaven
as hell.
Piano crooning,
its slow bass humming like a car wreck.
i felt it ticking through the floor
and imagined myself in the box
being stuck among the chords.
;7:40 PM